There something about losing someone you were always close to and drifted away from a little. You always seem to feel it most keenly. Especially when you lose them to something like depression. Its like they’re coming back but something at the back of your mind tells you they’re not. Depression is quite possibly the worst mental problem to have. It is invisible, it is insidious, it permeates every fibre of your being. Yet it can show no outward signs, there is no physical symbol, nothing to show people that you are depressed, nothing. The only people who might know, are those who are closest to you, and even then that isn’t guaranteed. It’s the biggest, most invisible, most frightening killer there is.
I lost my cousin to depression recently. I don’t know if there was anything I could have done. I don’t know if there was anything I could have said. Maybe if I had been closer to her? Maybe if I had been with her more? Could I have helped her? Could I have made a difference? These are questions I will never be able to answer, but these are questions I will always ask myself. I suffer from depression myself but it has different roots, a different manifstation, but it gives me a little insight to how she felt, but those questions will remain. Always.
All for one, and one for all. I love you cuz.