Why is it that when you throw stuff away that you’ve been keeping because you might need it, you end up needing it once you’ve thrown it away?
Ok, so I’ve paraphrased a James Bond title. Never mind.
I consider myself fortunate that I have a full head of hair, and therefore have no need to spend massive amounts on wigs and such. The only problem I have is that I have a large amount of grey at the temples, and, being the vain creature that I am, I wanted to get rid of it. So I tried the Clairol Perfect 10, being impatient. Unfortunately I didn’t do a patch test. Consequently I found that I am allergic to PPD (Phenylenediamines) which is a primary ingredient of nearly all permanent hair dyes. Most people I know have seen the result of this and it wasn’t pretty. My hair looked good though. I now want to redo my hair so we bought a Garnier Belle Colour and did a patch test. The result was I am alllergic to that as well. This means I cannot use most of the colourants on the market. Myself and my fiancee spent several hours yesterday looking through Wilko’s stocks and could only find one hair dye that does not contain PPD. Unfortunately it is not permanent so it means buying a couple each fortnight. Might take a wander to Boots later and see what they have to offer.
As an aside, this was the first time I have been out into town fully as Christine. There were a few stares but no-one seemed to make an issue of it. I’ve been lucky so far.
Had my first job interview for over a year today, in Basingstoke. Lovely day for it. It went quite well I thought. Nothing difficult, just a general chat followed by a question/answer session. Most of the questions were situational (“Describe how you… , Describe a situation where you…, How would you…. , etc). There didn’t seem to be much of a technical element to it (it was an IT position I went for). I am going to assume that if they are interested then there would be a second, technical, interview. But then, I had a similar situation with a previous employer, but they did the Q & A followed by a written technical test at the same interview. Oh well, I’ll just have to wait and see won’t I?
This brings me to another point: Why does it seem that a large proportion of transsexuals work in the IT industry? Or is it just me reading too much into things? Most of the transwomen I have spoken to are, or have been, employed in the IT industry in one capacity or another. It would be interesting to see a graph showing the different types of jobs held by transgendered people.
Went to the doctors yesterday for blood pressure check and found that I am 30 kg (66 lb) overweight! I hadn’t thought it was that much, but since I don’t currently have a set of scales I couldn’t tell. I was slightly shocked to say the least. She said my BP was elevated mainly due to my weight. So now I’m having a serious change in diet and an increase in excercise. I’m going to aim to lose the weight by June, (in time for summer dresses), so a drastic change is needed. Should be fun!
Well, at least I can get some exercise sorting out this flat. Plenty of heavy lifting, what with all the steel-cased computers I have lying around! It’s quite fun ripping the guts out of PC and deciding what to keep. I now have a huge stack of parts, processors, cables, fans etc. It’s a shame that the motherboards are all dead. I also now have a wicked stack of Dell power supplies. All this in the name of shifting my wardrobe so I can get my clothes in and out of it. Haven’t used it in months. Should be interesting to find what’s in there.
Gah! The rubbish that was in there. Old shoes that have seen better days around the turn of the millenium. The first millenium! Old suits that I haven’t worn in years and various shirts that I wouldn’t be seen dead in! All going out in favour of the new stuff.
It’s strange how things work out isn’t it? The one in-law whom I expected to reject me outright is possibly the most understanding one of all: my sister-in-law. We had one of our very long chats today about all kinds of things but mainly about Christine. She is doing her best to understand what I am and how I feel. We talk about everything from makeup and clothes through to hormones and their effects to GRS and what might happen after. She is quite happy to advise me on all things female but, at the moment, she’s not sure if she could meet me as Christine yet, and she definitely doesn’t want her children to meet Christine until they’re older. I find this understandable since she has known only the male me since she was thirteen, when I met my late wife, and the kids have only known me as their uncle. Still, it’s great that I have some family I can talk to about things. Her boyfriend is surprisingly understanding as well, so that’s a double bonus.
Q: Why do the things that you want the most always take the longest time to get?
A: Because they are worth the wait.
I came out as Christine fully in January 2011, via Facebook, which, in retrospect, was probably not the wisest idea. It caused a bit of a ruck in my family, and amongst the in-laws. I received a lot of stick from several aunties, my mother and a cousin, but, on the whole, most people were very supportive. I did lose one or two friends though. The next step was presenting to the outside world as a woman. This caused me a great deal of consternation. What would happen? Would I get abused as soon as I walked out the door? I started leaving the house with my fiancee wearing, jeans, jumper black and pink trainers and padding in all the right places. Apart from a few odd looks from some younger people nobody seemed to react in any real way. I don’t know if this was my optimism or whether they just considered me just someone who looks slightly odd. Unfortunately I was still drinking off and on during this initial phase and I would feel one of two ways: While drinking I felt brave, a sort of “fuck ’em all” bravado which lasted as long as I had a beer. Once the alcohol wore off I started having panic attacks and feeling overwhelmingly nervous, unable to go out at all. Since kicking the booze I sometimes feel a minor nervousness when leaving home but not much more. I still get an “all eyes are on me” feeling when I’m in a crowded place but no more panic attacks or fear of the outside.
Well, week before last (7th March, to be precise), I managed to screw my courage to the sticking plate, (I think that’s the phrase), and went to see my GP. Fortunately for me he is a very understanding person. He listened to everything I had to say and then proceeded to write a referral on the condition that I had a blood test due to the amount of alcohol I used to consume. I agreed to this and went for it. I attended the follow-up appointment on the 14th. To my surprise my thyroid, liver and other levels were well within normal parameters!! My blood pressure was a little high, but the doctor put this down to my slightly excessive salt consumption. I was expecting to find serious damage to my liver at least. My GP was also surprised but happy enough to write the referral to the local CMHT (Community Mental Health Team) for assessment and screening. I was a little worried about this but have found out that this simply involves ensuring that I don’t have any other mental health problems that need addressing prior to psychiatric referral.
I think I have now developed OCD! I keep running up and down the stairs every morning, looking for the letter from CMHT with my appointment. It’s only been five days!! ARRRGH!